I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
