you traded sex for a burrito?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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