coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
