the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I love you.
Bad choice
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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