I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
