FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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