it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I met the friendliest cop last night
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize