i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
