Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is