I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.