Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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