I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
How external is "for external use only"?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
