I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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