i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i love accidental penises.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
