Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
