Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Congratulations! We have a period
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize