Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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