i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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