Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
