Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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