just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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