I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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