She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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