it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize