Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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