Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
