Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
