i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
