you guys were way drunker than both of me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
