I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
