I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
