Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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