shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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