My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
