In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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