just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize