i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
