yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
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Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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