she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
