i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
How naked do you want me to be?
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