I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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