This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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