question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
