Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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