we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
