Kiss
Puke
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
