Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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