I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
