i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
