Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
