Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
