im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
