i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
