Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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