wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
