Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
