i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't turn off my feet"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
